kragehund-est:

everyone hates orange until they actually see her in context. “oh it’s such an ugly color, too bright!” look at sunsets and autumn, look at campfires and deserts. she’s the most beautiful and special part of the scene. now apologize.

supreme-leader-stoat:

doityourselfbombs:

what if we broke the cycle of violence and got brunch together

what if we continued the cycle of violence. and got brunch together.

womens-suffrage-revival-squad:

nevertheless-moving:

funnytwittertweets:

same energy as that buffy episode where the big bad ‘can’t be hurt by any weapon forged’ and she’s like ‘it’s been a 500 years are you sure’ and annihilates it with a fuckin M136 rocket launcher

froody:

No, no. I can have one more shot, I swear. I won’t start behaving like a flamboyantly gay pansy stock character in a pre-code film again. I swear. You can trust me. Darling, you must trust me.

manywinged:

manywinged:

i love saying “get off my dick” even though i don’t have one

i don’t have a dick but you’re still determined to ride it

justrynafindpeace:

tiktaalic:

middle children arent annoying they’re literally my little buddy who come and sit on my bed and play their switch while i do stuff on my phone. youngest children arent annoying they’re literally my little baby whose diapers i changed and tiny bodies i rocked and scrapes i bandaged and tears i wiped. oldest children ARE annoying but this is not something to ever be said aloud. saying oldest children are annoying is like saying newly out enthusiastic teenagers are annoying . technically correct but morally corrupt ignores their systemic struggles. like taking candy from a baby or kicking a dog. only children ARE annoying and what are they gonna do about it. rally their gang of siblings to their defense? no

bombadilbaddie:

likes to charge, reblogs to cast, etc

lastvalyrian:

beemovieerotica:

thank god for american public transit !!! 🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸

You get on the bus and then everyone does the Flintstones thing

secondbeatsongs:

somehow instead of saying “as a treat”, I’ve started using the phrase “for morale”, as if my body is a ship and its crew, and I (the captain) have to keep us in high spirits, lest we suffer a mutiny in the coming days.

and so I will eat this small block of fancy cheese, for morale. I will take a break and drink some tea, for morale. I will pick up that weird bug, for morale.

I’m not sure if it helps, but it does entertain me

catchymemes:

felixcloud6288:

felixcloud6288:

thelapinbitch:

crazy-brazilian:

ryegarden:

ALT

be like the dandelion!! unkillable! joyous!! inherently transsexual in ways others cannot fully understand!

on my redbubble!